We all feel our kids and families are special, even if it’s in a little yellow bus sort of way. The stories are our own, special and unique. They get told and retold at family functions and when new girlfriends arrive on the scene. Personally, I feel I’ve been blessed with kids that are overachievers in the “special” arena. I figured I would share a few stories with you.
1) Joseph, when he was seven, set his bedroom on fire. Always the responsible one, he thought to fill a two liter bottle of water in case things got out of control. To this day, he doesn’t understand why he got in trouble.
2) Rob could vomit on demand. No place was sacred. Crowded diners were especially fun. Rob would, and still will, do anything for effect.
3) I remember one day coming home to a huge sign on the front door stating simply “The snake is loose.” Neighbors love me.
4) Nick mooned his kindergarten class. The teacher never saw it. The kids did and told their parents who in turn told me, one after the other, as they dropped their kids off to my son’s birthday party.
5) One day recently I asked Nick to take down from the ceiling what looked like a spider egg sack. As if came off the ceiling it fell to the floor…with a “plop.” We just kind of looked at each other for a second before checking it out. Chapstick. Clear, cherry flavored Chapstick. I genuflect a lot.
6) Josh forged my name in second grade. I went to the school to inspect the signature. The teacher admitted she almost let it slide. It was good. I check all of my credit card statements regularly.
7) Christmas cheer, tree in the corner, shopping begging to be done and I can’t find my keys. Under the couch, the freezer, in the woodpile…no go. Pulled all the pockets of every winter jacket inside out. No keys. Exasperated after an hour, I asked my then four year old daughter if she had seen them. “Sure mommy.” She walked over to the Christmas tree, reached inside it and plucked them out of the branches. She thought they matched. You know…shiny.
8) When Joe and Rob were out of school, but working and still living home, we had a deal. They either paid $50 a week each for rent OR they could each clean a bathroom. (It was well worth it to me- including my husband, there were five guys living in the house!) Eventually it came out that Joe and Rob were each paying Josh $25 a week to clean the bathrooms for them. When confronted, they all looked at me like I was crazy for not understanding the logic. They proceeded to speak very slowly (you know, so I would catch on) and explained that they saved money by paying Josh half of what they would have to pay me. Josh made $50 a week- for a kid who was about 13 at the time, that was pretty darned good. And, they reasoned, I got what I wanted, two clean bathrooms.
Some arguments I know I’ll lose right from the start, so I didn’t even try.
The boys were right though about one thing though. I did get exactly what I wanted- kids that challenge, shape and move their own universe. No wallflowers in my family tree!
2) Rob could vomit on demand. No place was sacred. Crowded diners were especially fun. Rob would, and still will, do anything for effect.
3) I remember one day coming home to a huge sign on the front door stating simply “The snake is loose.” Neighbors love me.
4) Nick mooned his kindergarten class. The teacher never saw it. The kids did and told their parents who in turn told me, one after the other, as they dropped their kids off to my son’s birthday party.
5) One day recently I asked Nick to take down from the ceiling what looked like a spider egg sack. As if came off the ceiling it fell to the floor…with a “plop.” We just kind of looked at each other for a second before checking it out. Chapstick. Clear, cherry flavored Chapstick. I genuflect a lot.
6) Josh forged my name in second grade. I went to the school to inspect the signature. The teacher admitted she almost let it slide. It was good. I check all of my credit card statements regularly.
7) Christmas cheer, tree in the corner, shopping begging to be done and I can’t find my keys. Under the couch, the freezer, in the woodpile…no go. Pulled all the pockets of every winter jacket inside out. No keys. Exasperated after an hour, I asked my then four year old daughter if she had seen them. “Sure mommy.” She walked over to the Christmas tree, reached inside it and plucked them out of the branches. She thought they matched. You know…shiny.
8) When Joe and Rob were out of school, but working and still living home, we had a deal. They either paid $50 a week each for rent OR they could each clean a bathroom. (It was well worth it to me- including my husband, there were five guys living in the house!) Eventually it came out that Joe and Rob were each paying Josh $25 a week to clean the bathrooms for them. When confronted, they all looked at me like I was crazy for not understanding the logic. They proceeded to speak very slowly (you know, so I would catch on) and explained that they saved money by paying Josh half of what they would have to pay me. Josh made $50 a week- for a kid who was about 13 at the time, that was pretty darned good. And, they reasoned, I got what I wanted, two clean bathrooms.
Some arguments I know I’ll lose right from the start, so I didn’t even try.
The boys were right though about one thing though. I did get exactly what I wanted- kids that challenge, shape and move their own universe. No wallflowers in my family tree!
Very smart with the bathrooms! Mama didn't raise no fools.
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