Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Relative Identity

It's been crazy, these past few months, trying to pull together the finishing touches on my new book.  I was so excited when my publisher was able to post the Kindle version ahead of schedule, just in time for the holidays.  Here's the upshot of what April is up to now!

Relative Identity by Holly Patrone

Six years ago, April Serao’s husband Sal died by way of birthday sex gone terribly wrong. Now he’s back, possessing the heavenly version of a temporary visa and an uncanny knack for showing up at the most inopportune times.
Finding some ‘alone’ time with new boyfriend Jack proves almost impossible with husband Sal popping up unexpectedly in outfits that make his legs look better than Aprils, not to mention the constant intrusion of her mother – the original Sicilian Guilt Trip Queen. Though a ghostly husband can be a bit trying, April has even bigger problems right now.

Shocked to find her mailbox unexpectedly stuffed with collection notices for things she never bought, April is beginning to suspect she’s the victim of identity theft. Before she can even being to get things straightened out, her son Chris’ car is repossessed, her house is vandalized and she’s arrested for assault with deadly tweezers. Frustrated with the lack of help through official channels and angry that her life has been turned upside down by someone she doesn’t even know, April decides to track down the perpetrator herself.

What ensues is a wacky madcap adventure as April tries to unravel the truth and still juggle her chaotic life which includes answering questions such as:
Is there ever a good reason to purchase a feather trimmed bustier and a meat grinder at the same time? Is Jack as horrifically under endowed as Sal claims he is? Can voodoo dolls cause collateral damage? What do Cherry Cola Red #17 hair dye and the paint for April’s car have in common ?

Find out in this, the new novel and sequel to the bestselling book Death Is a Relative Thing by Holly Patrone!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Free Kindle Promo!


There will be a free Kindle promo of my book "Death Is A Relative Thing" running from Sept 22 through the 26th! If you haven't read it yet- here's the chance to do it for free! The sequel is completed and being reviewed by the publisher- so hopefully that will come out soon. When it does- you'll be ready!

Thanks so much!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Martha Clara and the Planting Fields

Just finished the Martha Clara Vineyard Book Singing and Sale and it was WoNDerfUL!   The weather was horrendous, so it was just great to be indoors with a lot of other people who were trying to escape the rain and have a good time.

I had my favorite helper, Marisa with me.  She hands out bookmarks and tells everyone what a wonderful writer I am, right after she discloses my age. (sigh)

Anyway, I had fun, met some great people and am gearing up for the next event which happens to be coming up May 20.  From 12-4pm I will be at the Periwinkles Garden Cafe in the Historic Hay Barn at the Planting Fields in Oyster Bay! 'Combining Books and Brunch' is the tagline.  Love it!

C'mon down if you can!

Peace and hugs...Holly

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Free Kindle Promo

In an effort to acquaint as many readers as possible my book before the sequel comes out, we are running a free Kindle promotion for the next four days only. Get your free Kindle copy here and remember, you can download the app if you don't own a Kindle. Please feel free to share this out!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Martha Clara Vineyards Info

Martha Clara Vineyard Book Fair Information
Hope to see you there!

Long Island Authors Group to Hold Vineyard Book Fair
More than 20 of Long Island’s best authors will be at Martha Clara Vineyards on Sunday, April 22 from Noon until 4 PM.
Media Contact:
Long Island Authors Group
Dorothy McPartland

Riverhead, NY                                                                                                          February 8, 2012
Long Island Authors Group, will have an array of authors whose works include fiction and non-fiction Adult, Young Adult, and Children’s Books at Martha Clara Vineyards in Riverhead, Long Island, NY.
Admission to the book signing event is free and open to the public. It will feature live entertainment by “Hart & Soul”.  Everyone who attends the book fair will be eligible to enter a free drawing for an Amazon Kindle e-Reader, courtesy of the Long Island Authors Group.
"Martha Clara Vineyards has been the perfect venue to host our annual book fair. What a great way to spend the afternoon, sipping wine, meeting new and exciting authors, and relaxing with a really good book," said LIAG’s president Kerriann Flanagan Brosky. "Our authors consist of commercially published, small press published and self-published. They bring a unique diversity to the world of literature, and we're happy to showcase them at such a beautiful location."
Authors attending  include:  Loraine Alderman, PhD, Kerriann Flanagan Brosky, Yvonne Capitelli, J.P. Cardone,  Ian Fydell, Tom Gahan, Gloria Golden, Christine Guardiano, Philip Keith, C.P. Knadle, Meg Harper-Lawrence, Sandy Lanton, Suzanne Litrel,  Dorothy McPartland, Matt Pasca, Holly Patrone, Grace Protano, Linda Reid-Bryce, Jeff Rimland,  Jim Roth, Richard Scheinberg.
The Long Island Authors Group is a not-for-profit corporation, 501c pending.
WHO: Long Island Authors Group.
WHAT: Book Fair, book signings, entertainment, wine tasting, free drawing for an Amazon Kindle.
WHEN:  Sunday, April 22, Noon – 4 PM
WHERE: Martha Clara Vineyard, 6025 Sound Avenue, Riverhead NY 11901
WHY: The public is invited to meet and chat with authors from across Long Island.
More info about LIAG:

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Update To My Last Update!

Hey!  I hope this finds you all well. I'm loving this Long Island weather- anxiously awaiting spring, but not complaining about how mild it's been.

I'm also looking forward to spring for a few other reasons- I wanted to give a little notice on a few events coming soon.

Saturday March 31 at 2:00 I will be at the Riverhead Free Library.  I'll talk about the book and answer questions.  I hope I'll see some old friends there and meet some new ones.  Registration is opening February 19 on the Riverhead Library website It should be fun!

I will be at at the Spring Book Fair with the LIAG (Long Island Authors Group) at Martha Clara Vineyards on Sunday April 22, 2012. Come on down and you'll have a chance to meet 20 or so other local authors  as well as visit with me.  More details are coming soon- but I am so excited about this! Martha Clara is located in Riverhead, NY.

The highlight, I'm sure, will be to watch me sign books after a glass or two of wine!  It'll be fun !

I know some people haven't signed up for notifies on this blog (and my other at ) because the process is limited to a few profiles, but now you can sign up with an email address! Yeah!  So please do so (don't be shy!) and if you would, please forward this email to other people you think would enjoy this or my homeschooling blog.

Also if you missed the Blogtalk radio show-  you can catch it here-  See if you can count how many times I say 'ummmmmm' especially in the first 5 minutes! After the initial terror, I think the rest went ok.  Let me know what you think.

I'm trying really hard to get the sequel to 'Death Is  A Relative Thing' out- so I apolgize for not updating more regularly.  I will though as soon as I can.  Hope to see some of you at the events.  Thanks so much   Holly

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Blogtalk Radio Correction

It is at 6:30 Eastern/3:30 Pacific January 4th.    Sorry!  I made the assumption it was eastern and it wasn't.  Whew!  Glad I looked!  Thanks! The link again is

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ok, Now Take A Deep Breath!

Wow.  The holidays are over.  Its been crazy and so much has been happening.  I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful holiday. 

I want to share some exciting things that are happening in my world:

First, I started homeschooling my daughter.  Of course, I've created a blog to chronicle this adventure!  You'll find it at  It will be a fun ride I think.

SHORT NOTICE ! Sorry for that, but if you can,  please tune in to  I will be interviewed Wednesday January 4th between 3:30 and 4:00. I'm excited as this is my first live show!  Think I'll be too nervous to talk?  LOL  NAH!

This is also great- Right before Christmas, I found out I'd won first place in class in TAG Publishings Great American Novel Contest.  I had entered the first 7,000 words of the sequel to my book "Death Is A Relative Thing"  It's tentatively titled "Identity Is A Death Defying Thing"  and they have asked to see the entire manuscript for possible publication.  Of course, now I have to finish it!  I love pressure!

Additionally, I will be speaking about my book on March 31 at the Riverhead Free Library from 2-4 pm.  330 Court Street Riverhead, NY 11901 You can call 727-3228, Ext 0 to register.

WHEW  Enough!  How about something fun. Here is a little holiday blast from the past- Something I'm recycling from my old blog. May everyone have love and luck in 2012 and a few lotto winnings wouldn't hurt either ! 


“Mom?” asked my seven year old daughter from the back seat of the car, “can we talk about the ‘olden days’?  I like when you tell me about them.”

“Sure honey, let me just turn up the volume on my hearing aid, ok?” Jeez!

“Ok.  Hey mommy, did they have cars like this when you were a kid?”

“No baby, not like this.  Have you ever seen “The Flintstones? No I guess not, they aren’t even in reruns. Well we had to stop our cars with our feet, roll down our windows manually and there were no portable DVD players for us.  We had to rough it by watching the scenery as it went by.”

“Oh.  Booooring!”  She sat quietly for a bit.



“Was there TV when you were a kid?”

“Yes honey, but not like you are used to.  There was no 24 hour children’s programming. We had only 7 channels and no do-overs.  If you missed a show, you were out of luck.  If my room was clean, I was allowed a few hours of TV on a Saturday morning.  If it wasn’t clean, grandma made me weed the flower beds. We watched black and white ‘follow the bouncing ball’ cartoons, Captain Kangaroo and Lassie.  There were no “on screen guitars”, belly buttons or talking back to teachers.  Oh! And we had to take turns holding the rabbit ears on top of the TV to keep the picture viewable.”

“Oh”  She thought for a moment.  “Why did you keep a rabbit on the TV?”

“It was the 60’s version of cable”

“Oh. Mom?”

“What baby?”

Did you have stoves in the olden days?”

“No hon, we rubbed two sticks together and the whole family did a dance while sacrificing small woodland creatures to fire gods.  Of COURSE we had stoves!  Ask your grandmother about the stick rubbing thing though, she may have some insight for you.”

 “Mom? Was I in your belly in the olden days?

Egads!  “No hon, not until much much later. After marriage- but we will discuss all of that after you get out of the monastery daddy wants to send you to.  And even though mommy looks like she still has you in her belly, we all know that you aren’t there because you sitting right here in the back seat asking me all these wonderful insightful questions!”

“Everything was so different then.” She looked a little sad.

I felt badly.  Maybe my answers hadn’t been what she was looking for. 

An acute case of ‘Mother guilt’ set in.  Because of it, when she asked “Mom, can you help me build a snowman?” I said “Sure”, instead of “Uhhhh, well, I think sticking a fork in my eye would be a preferable activity.”

We got home, and set to work.  I made a small snowball and started rolling it around, watching it grow as it collected more snow.  Soon it was large enough that we were both pushing it around the front lawn, laughing, huffing and puffing.  We made two others and stacked them all up, shoring them with more snow where they met, making them bigger and rounder.  My nose was running and we were both red faced and frostbitten.

I sat down in the snow because my legs were killing me. I called out “Hey Marisa, do you know how we built snowmen in the olden days?”


“Exactly the same way we do it now.”

She looked at me, grinned from ear to ear, ran over and gave me a hug.  “I’ll go get a carrot, ok mom?”

“Ok baby, you go get a carrot.”

My butt was frozen to the ground.  I laughed and waited for the spring thaw.


May the New Year bring you much joy
Here’s to embracing change
And to touching lives around us
Looking ahead to the future

But may we never move forward so fast however,
That we forget from whence we came
Simple pleasures and tradition
Or how to make a snowman with a child.